Dave Ford Does Earth

Posted by Dave Ford

I have spent much of the last few days recovering from Torres Del Paine. I am at about 95% and just about ready for my next adventure.

So far the weather in Ushuaia has been a delightful mix of rain, high winds, and more rain. The actual city is situated on an island in Tierra Del Fuego and the Beagle channel runs right in front of the city. I am currently sitting in a crappy internet cafe in the southern most city in the entire world. Due to its geographical position, Ushuaia serves as a launching pad for most Antarctic expeditions and thrives from a bustling maritime economy. Over 172 years ago, Charles Darwin sailed right by here while developing his evolutionary theories aboard the Beagle. I am going to go ahead and guess that the weather was similar in 1833 as well. Ushuaia is an interesting mix of tourist trap and shantytown. On one hand, it comes complete with high end shopping, a casino,  and nice restaurants. On the other hand, the houses look like they are ready to topple over at any second. The next stiff breeze could send this entire town into shambles.

I have been staying at Freestyle Hostel in Ushuaia. It has been one of the nicest hostels I have stayed in since traveling. For $11 US per night you get the luxuries of heated floors, a pool table, and granite counter tops. Everything has been perfect, except that I am sharing the room with the International undisputed heavyweight champion of snoring. Last night this dude sleeping next to me was snoring so loud that the entire room was vibrating. He was a big scary looking Englishman. He resembled any of the boxers that Brad Pitt had to fight in “Snatch”.  So, I decided against waking the human trombone out of a deep slumber at 4am. The Israeli girls in the room with us did not have earplugs. I do not think they slept at all.

Antarctica ? 

I have exhausted myself these past few days searching for a last minute Antarctica deal. Most people book these trips one year in advance. I have been to at least 15 different travel agents. It was beginning to look like I would have to stay here for another week–which would blow–when a miracle happened. Yesterday, I secured passage on a Quark expedition vessel called the Orlova (pictured above) that leaves today at 4pm. There are only 100 passengers on the boat, and a ton of scientists. I get the sense that its somewhat exclusive. They do not usually offer last minute deals at all. Each day, we do two land expeditions depending on ice conditions. Hopefully, we will see all kinds of crazy Antarctic stuff. I think I have to sit in on a bunch of scientific lectures.  I really want to see a blue whale. Sightings are rare but they are live down here. I have also heard  that it is possible to see killer whales, humpback whales, seals, and penguins out the yin yang. The Drake passage– 450 miles of water where the warm waters of the north meet the freezing cold Antarctic waters– is supposed to be one of the roughest patches of water in the world. Bring on the Dramamine.

Sidenote: Ironically, I think its warmer in Antarctica right now then it is on the East Coast of the US.
A Boring Museum

Yesterday I went to the Ushuaia Maritime Museum. It consisted of an enormous amount of model ships,  maybe 30 ships in all. It was located in an old prison that was built at the turn of the century. The Argentinians tried to establish a penal colony here just like the Brits did in Australia. All in all, the museum was crap. The cells of the prison were broom closets, which I guess was interesting. I learned that Magellan sailed by here in 1520 and that Charles Darwin did his Beagle exploration in 1833. That is about it. No more, no less. I could have bought 2 hearty steak dinners for the price of admission. No Bueno!

The Octopus

Since we have been in Ushuaia there has been a private boat docked on the pier that makes the Cruise ships look like bathtub toys. We were trying to figure out who exactly it belonged to. My new friend Paul (profile below) got close enough to ask a few questions and the internet told us the rest. The Octopus, is the fifth largest private yacht in the history of the world. Its owned by Paul Allen, the number 2 man at Microsoft. He is the 6th richest man in the world with an estimated net worth of 26 Billion Dollars. In a word, this boat is RIDICULOUS. The only bigger yachts in the world are owned by the Saudi Royal family, the Prince of Dubai, and some dude from Oracle.

Ripped from Wikipedia:

Octopus is measured at 414 feet (126.18 meters) and was delivered in 2003 to its owner, Paul Allen. Octopus sports three helicopters on the top deck (one in front and two on the back), and a sixty-three foot (19 m) tender docked in the transom (one of seven aboard). She also has a remote control submarine for studying the bottom of the ocean. Side hatches at the water line form a dock for jet skis. She was supposed to have a full blown submarine on board, but it was never delivered.

Travelers Profiles:

Jeff the Canadian skiier- 22 Years Old

I enjoyed many beers with Jeff the Canadian skier this weekend. He is from an oil town in northern British Columbia almost even with Alaska. He used to ski competitively for the Canadian “B team”. Which apparently does not get you very far. Jeff and I found ourselves at an Irish Pub engaging in a conversation about the Palestine Israeli conflict. Unfortunately, we were speaking a little too loudly, and with a few two many beers in the system. Before we knew it, many Israeli travelers had unexpectedly joined the conversation as well. They were fresh out of the army, and Jeff let his opinions fly very candidly. Lets just say that his opinions did not quite mesh with those of the Israelis. As as desperate measure, I bought a round of Irish whiskey for all parties involved. Its amazing how a little Jamison’s can save the day. Everyone became friendly again. The tide turned so quickly and beautifully. Maybe, just maybe, I am on to something here.  Has anyone thought of this before? Could Irish Whiskey be the key to Middle East Peace? I want to go on record right now that it was my idea. Somebody call Condoleeza…..

Note to self: Stop arguing the Israeli Palestine conflict in public while drinking.

Jeff hitchhiked north to Torres Del Paine. I never got his last name or a picture.

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Paulie the Jeweler- 62 Years old from East Lancing, Michigan.

Paulie is the by far, hands down, the most interesting person I have met on this trip yet. Hes taking a 53 day journey on a sailboat around Antarctica. I think he eventually will end up in Capetown, South Africa. We went out to dinner last night and the stories did n0t stop the entire time.

Lets start off when Paul was a young boy. Apparently, out of fear for the Russians, the US Government used to encourage young boys to build rockets. The Russians launched Sputnik in 1957 beating the US into space. So as a matter of national security the US made it possible for kids to get a hold of the necessary ingredients to launch rockets. This list includes explosives, rocket fuel, and dangerous chemicals. Paul loved rockets and was good at building them. But, he loved them a little too much. When he was 12 or so he blew off a few fingers in one of his attempts.

From here it becomes a bit of a whirlwind story. By his mid 20s, Paulie became one of the biggest producers of Cubic Zirconia (fake diamonds) in the world.  In 1960s and 1970s he made and blew millions of dollars. To this day, he still works with fake gems and owns a big outlet in Michigan. Here are some of the highlights of Pauls life:

• He invented giant linkin logs (big blocks that enables kids to build huge structures)
• He invented a wheel chair carrier (looks like a tank that carriers a wheel chair off road)
• In the 1970s he owned two underground business operations–not shady stuff, just illegal.
• He had a shotgun held to his head once due to these operations
• At one point he owned a gem cutting factory in Panama with two Russian spies
• He has been detained and questioned by the CIA twice
• He currently owns 9 motorcycles, and 5 airplanes
• He has developed solar technology that he is trying to sell to both the North Koreans and Bolivians
• The US government has stepped in and is preventing anymore talks with Kim Jong Il and company
• He lost his bag and has been wearing the same clothes for 5 days

This guy is a classic. Although some of this stuff sounds unbelievable, he backed all of his stories up on the Internet. Well, except the CIA stuff but I believe him.

Notes and Musings:

>I am finally up and running on Myspace and Facebook.  It only took me a year and half.

>So far I am hooked up to Skype, Feedburner, Statcounter, Myspace, Blogger, and Snapfish. I am looking into Flickr and Picasso. The only problem is that my head could explode at any second.

>Food for thought an ¨”Antarctic 10″ is a person of the opposite sex that would be considered a 5 anywhere else.

> On the right hand side of the blog you can Subscribe to DaveFordDoesEarth. You can either enter your email in the box, or sign up for a live feed though your Google or Yahoo homepages. I am becoming such a huge computer nerd.

>I lost 12 pounds at Torres Del Paine. The beard is coming in great (see below).

> I cannot wait to get to the South Pole. This should make it possible for me to hit all 7 continents on my trip.

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