Dave Ford Does Earth

Posted by Dave Ford

After leaving Ushuaia the Orlova– our faithful vessel–gently cruised through the calm waters that make up the Beagle Channel (named after Darwin’s voyage). The energy of the other passengers on board was electric. I was especially excited to have caught this last minute trip. If I had not, I would have had to wait around in Ushuaia for another 7 days.

Note: I have decided the Ushuaia sucks since my Ushuaia post

Right off the bat, the scientists and biologists on the boat hit it off with the passengers.  After our first meal we realized that this 100 person expedition would be much more like a cruise than we originally thought. The food was abundant and delicious, the passengers liked to have a good time, and the drinks were strong–when the asshole bartender felt like pouring them.

All was glorious until we hit the Drake Passage. The Drake Passage –named after the British captain/pirate Drake who first discovered the waterway– is about as notorious as the captain it is named after.  This strong ocean current lies between the respective tips of Tierra Del Fuego and the Antarctica Penisula. The Drake Passage is one of the roughest batches of water on planet earth. Its roughness  has to do with the warm waters of the Atlantic hitting the cold waters of the Southern Ocean. With a little luck, it takes 36 hours to get navigate through the passage to calmer waters. We hit the Drake at 5:30 in the morning and I knew it when three of the drawers flew out of our cabin’s nightstand onto the floor. Simultaneously, my head slammed into the bottom of the bunk above me .

I think it was around 8am when Arnold from China (profiled below) projectile vomited all over the middle of our room. My other roommate, Sen from Japan(profile below) and I could only sit and watch. Breakfast was not well attended. Passengers dropped like flies. One of our senior citizen passengers –30 percent of the passengers were over 65–threw up on one of the zodiac drivers. Over the course of the first 24 hours on the Drake, 60 of the 100 passengers had called for the staff doctors, and lay in their cabins under the fog of heavy medication. At points we would find ourselves walking at a 45 degree perpendicular angles.

Either by the stroke of pure luck, or by the fact that I inhaled Dramamine from the second I got on the boat, I was completely fine. There were 15 of us that did not feel the effects of the Drake at all.

At 1pm, I realized that Arnold from China had never called anyone to clean the beautiful green present he left on the carpet. Now, I realize the guy was sick and I felt really bad for him. But seriously, he could have picked up the phone and called someone, right? At that point, I would have taken it as a nice gesture if he would have thrown a towel over it.

 An interesting Juxtoposition between roommates:

Arnold from China- Arnold is a software programmer that lives in Beijing. Not only was he irresponsible with his vomit, but he would not listen to the doctors. They would tell him to lay down, and he would instead sit up. Then, like clockwork, he would throw up. This pattern then repeated itself over and over again.

Sen from Japan- Sen is a craftsman that makes Japanese pottery. He is a very enlightened, 65 years old widower from Kyoto. His travels have taken him all over the world. On this trip he is working his way from the South Pole to the North Pole via the Americas by himself. At every landing, he would sketch whatever we encountered. Some days it would be ice bergs, some days penguins, other days he would sketch the albatross that followed the boat. He has a very passionate, intrinsic procedure to produce his art. It seemed to be a three or four step process between his original sketch and his final version. Sen is soft spoken, and very kind. He spent afternoons giving art lessons to two of girls (age 9 and 11) on board. Right from the start, I realized that Sen was the “Roommate from Heaven”. He did not vomit on the floor at anytime and he made his bed every morning. Sen the Japanese artist, was hands down the most popular person on the trip amongst all of the passengers.

As the first day progressed the medication began to kick in. Passengers began to arise from the dead –a select few did not come out of their cabins for three days. After the initial shock we began to get regular whale siting reports over the intercom. Someone on the staff would say, “We have a fin whale siting at 3 o’clock on the port side!”. Lemming like, we would scramble at top speed hoping to catch the glimpse of a tail.  20% of the time we would be greeted by a multi ton majestic creature. Some of the whales even came extremely close to the boat. The other 80% of the time you would not see a damn thing. This process repeated itself consistently throughout the trip. Somewhere around this time I became completely obsessed with seeing a Blue Whale–the largest animal in the world at 150 tons.

Both the crew and the expedition staff were made up of a lively bunch from around the globe.

The Crew

The Russian Captain- Clearly the best job on the ship, he spent 90% of the time in his cabin watching reruns of Baywatch.OK, I made that part up.  But he was definitely in his cabin a lot and I am sure if anyone on board had reruns of Baywatch he would have gladly watched them. Germans love David Hasselhoff more than life. I wonder if it is the same way in Russia?

4 Russian officers - One of whom really wanted to get laid

53 person Russian staff - sailors, housekeeping, wait staff

1 German headwaiter - Phillip lead the Happy Birthday efforts at dinner every night.

1 Canadian bartender that hated my guts

1 hotel manager– Analise from Holland was a very sweet lady that announced dinner in different languages every night

1 Assistant Hotel Manager– Krista from Vancouver Island . She had the pleasure of informing me that my bar tab was much lower than I anticipated.

The Expedition Staff
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Expedition Leader- Jan from Germany ran the show. He works the North Pole as well.

Expedition Assistant- Tyler captains killer whale zodiac cruises every summer at home in Vancouver Island, Canada

Marine Biologist- Jamie Watts from England (Profiled later)

Ornithologist- Akos Hivekovics

Historian- John Killenbeck lived in Antarctica from 1961-1964 (profiled later -This guy was amazing)

Glaciologist- Jill from Vancouver Island, Canada

Zodiac Driver- Vladimir from Russia

Zodiac Driver- Tim from Connecticut, U.S.A. He did not have the best relationship with the bartender either. Maybe its a US thing.

Videographer- Paul Bell from Broom Australia (Profiled Below)

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Profile- Paul Bell, age 33, Broom Austraila

Paul has one of those jobs we all dream of. He specializes in travel and adventure videography. He was on the expedition to get footage for the Lonely Planet travel guide series. There is a good chance that some of his footage might end up on the Discovery channel. He freelances often for the Lonely Planet, ABC in Australia, Eurosport Channel, and Discovery. He has done a lot of work in remote parts of Australia living among the Aboriginals. At the end of the trip, he confessed to me that the highlight of his career was filming me run into the frigid Antarctic waters. I nearly shed a tear.

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Notes:

> By the end of the trip 99% of the passengers said they would have done the trip again even if the sea sickness was much worse.

> By the end of the first day I hit my head on something at least 12 times. I am clearly too large for life at sea.

> Currently celebrating the big 29 in Buenos Aires with some new Aussie friends. The late 20´s continue to treat me well.

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