Dave Ford Does Earth

Posted by Dave Ford

After consulting Wikipedia to find out just what the 7 wonders of the world actually are, and after telling people for months that Iguazu Falls is indeed a wonder of the world, I was disappointed to find that it does not appear on any list. Although, I was very pleased to find that the Falls did appear in a few episodes of Miami Vice in the 1980’s.

So, in accordance with my findings, I have decided to start Dave Ford’s 8 wonders of the world. As of now I have four (this list can change at any time, and at no time promises to be reasonable). There is no criteria or restrictions. I can pick a person, place, or whatever else I deem worthy.

DF’s 8 Wonders of the World
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1. The Continent of Antarctica
2. The Steaks of Buenos Aires
3. Torres Del Paine
4. Iguazu Falls
5. ?
6. ?
7. ?
8. ?

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The story of a rather large waterfall…..

John and I took a bus from Buenos Aires to Iguazu Falls in the northernmost corner of Argentina. When I say bus, what I really mean is the sweetest mode of transportation on the entire planet! We took a Cama Suite model. For a couple of extra bones you get a bed the reclines almost all the way back, a really good meal, and a few nightcaps right before bed. You also get the standard medley of 80’s songs right before bedtime. We were blessed with the likes of Lionel Richie, Celine Dion, and Tony Braxton. Thank God for the nightcaps or it might have turned ugly.

After an 18 hour fantastic voyage, we arrived at the”resort like” Hostel Inn (see above) in Iguazu Falls on the Argentine border. It was hot as hell in Iguazu. One of the days it had to be at least 100 degrees and really humid. Unfortunately, this was the day that we spent all day long walking our asses off trying to obtain a Brazilian visa at the border. From what I have heard, the US gives Brazilians quite a hard time when they try to travel to the States. So, in turn, the Brazilians do there best to reciprocate the favor for us. We spent much of the time walking back and forth to the ATM. It costs us 120 bucks to obtain a 30 day visa to Brazil. That is a lot of money to simply enter a country. John and I were both equally pissy that morning. Ok, I will admit it, maybe I was a little more pissy. For the record, the town of Iguazu on the Argentinian side blows. It also costs $7 bucks US every time you take money out of the ATM and you can only take out $100 dollars US at a time. What a scam!

There are towns on both sides of the border to support the tourism to the falls. We did not go to the Brazilian side. Nothing was open on the Argentine side, the supermarket was smelly from the blackened bananas laying on the counter, and I am certain the map of the town we got was incorrect. We got lost every single time we ventured out. Some of this should be attributed to John’s trouble with maps and directions. He is the one that is supposed to speak Spanish out the two of us.

The actual Falls were a completely different story. John and I were both impressed. We walked on a platform that led us out to an overlook of the devils throat–the most expansive and powerfull part of the waterfall. We stared at the sheer power of what was in front of us. As we were taking it all in, the sky completely opened up and drenched every body around us. Luckily, John and I bought extremely ridiculous ponchos. They did the trick and kept us sort of dry.

After the Devils Throat drenching, we hiked all the way to the bottom of the falls. We had heard you could rent a boat and get directly dumped on by the falls. After we walked for what seemed like forever, we finally got to the boat. I think it was 45 pesos a person. Now, it was pretty cool. But, I think we both expected something a little more dangerous. The boat took us directly under the smaller side of the falls. It was fun, We got crushed with water, but we both were expecting something more along the lines of going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. What we actually experienced, was reminiscent of being squirted with a garden hose by your crazy next door neighbor.

Hiking around the falls we ran into many wild animals. Monkeys were jumping from tree to tree above us and little raccoon like coatis bum rushed us in a pack of 6. Apparently the little bastards bite. But, after analyzing the physical prowess of John and I, they must have had second thoughts. By the end of the day we ran into the most dangerous animals of all, extremely overweight German tourists parading around in speedos and thongs. John and I did not know how to react when confronted by these beasts. However, we were lucky enough to snap a quick picture without disturbing them.

Butterflies were literally everywhere. Check out the markings on the back of this species.

Notes:

> Our next stop is the beach island of Florianapolis, Brazil. I cannot wait to get there and meet up with Regis and Carol. We should stay with them for a few days. I also got an email from Benny “BV Show” Vears who I traveled with for the first month of my trip. He is in Florianapolis as well and I am really hoping to catch up with him.

> Since we arrived in Iguazu, John has stomped me in every possible game know to man. Most notably ping pong, pool, and chess. I have decided to change his nickname from Johnny Law, to Johnny Parlor Games.

> After defeating me in chess. John was reluctantly duped into a game by a Belgian dude that was apparently wicked skillful at chess. John said that the guy kept saying in a think brash French accent “I piss on your moves”!! Check mate shortly followed.

> I am sort of figuring out the Mac. I still have not figured out how to upload any video. I am considering bringing an IT consultant along for my journey. I hear you can hire one from India on the cheap. Hey the “World is Flat” right, I should probably take advantage of it.

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