Dave Ford Does Earth

Posted by Dave Ford

I decided to do some research into playing golf in La Paz. Mostly because I am a golf junkie and have not played in months and months. Secondly because I wanted to play in the high altitude and hit the ball a mile.

My new Irish friends Jenny and DJ, they are cousins and very cool peeps, both love golf and expressed interest in playing one night over some cocktails. I do think they were a bit surprised when I showed up in their room at 11am ready to play the next morning. Jenny, had a big one the night before, but somehow found the motivation with some encouragement from DJ to get up and play.

We jumped in a cab, rode across town to one of the really nicer areas of La Paz, and took on the highest course in the world with a full head of hungover steam. At the level of elevation I was expecting to hit the ball like Tiger Woods. We were all pleasantly surprised with the course. It was really, really well groomed and professional. The landscape reminded me of courses I have played in Las Vegas.

DJ, Me, and Jenny on the Signature par 3 on the back 9

A bit about DJ and Jenny. They are both absolutely hysterical in their own distinct way. I would describe them as both as athletic,relaxed, and as easy going as you could expect anyone to be on a golf course. Jenny can really hit the ball, and has what I would describe as a ¨sweet swing¨. DJ, continues on with conversations in mid swing and could care less about where the ball goes. The three of us all played like complete crap but still had a blast. I shot a 106 with a 10 on a par 4. NOT GOOD. But, who the hell cares.

Our crew with caddies…

I caddied at an elite golf course in Baltimore (Caves Valley Golf Club) for 8 years all through high school and college. So, having a caddy for the first time was a great experience. Samuel, who really knew his stuff, was awesome. The cost: 10 bucks US. Back home we would get 120 bucks US a round. He was clubbing me all day. In the altitude I had no idea what to hit. Normally I hit a 5 iron about 175 yards. In the altitude, I was clocking in at about 205. I was still not quite Tiger, but close. Actually, thats not true it all. Comparing my golf game to Tigers is like comparing a 1984 Chevy Nova to a Ferrari.

We all played much better on the back nine after loading up our bags with cold beers. I tried to buy Samuel one, but its apparently against club policy. Instead I tipped him really well. He is 22, married, with 3 kids. Thats a little different life path then I am on right now.

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The Bolivian Diet

I am going to write a book. Screw the South Beach Diet, screw Adkins. If you want to loose wait, then just come to Bolivia and eat the local food. Weight loss with immediately follow. Dark Horse Al and I both were on our backs for 24 hours last week. It WAS BAD. I do not know what we ate. We think it was from fish and chips from Olivers Travels. But we do not know. I had a “coming to Jesus” conversation with Ollie the owner and he was extremely apologetic and bought us a round of drinks. He explained that the germs are just different down here (which I think could be bullshit but whatever). Everyone has gotten Bolivian belly at one point or another. On the bright side, the weight is shedding off. Which is a nice juxtaposition to my fat Argentine self from a few months back. I guess this is just part of the Bolivian experience.

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Notes:

> With all fairness to Jenny and DJ, the rental clubs sucked at the club. They were forced to use really whack mens clubs. While we are on excuses, my clubs sucked too.

> The guy that just sat down next to me at the internet cafe really, really smells bad. I might have to move. Im getting a little sick.

> The local women of La Paz are very distinct and all dress in long skirts and derby hats. They sell chicken and beef right off the side of the road. NO BUENO. Its pretty gross, nasty stuff.

> Apparently it is good luck to bury a llama fetus under your house in Bolivia. You can buy these right off the streets as well.

> God this guy stinks next to me….

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