Dave Ford Does Earth

Posted by Dave Ford

The Galapagos Island is one of the worlds most treasured places. It is a one and a half hour flight from southern Ecuador. In every guidebook you come across its listed as one of the most important places in South America. However, let me be clear, this trip was wicked expensive. The three of us all threw the budget out the window when making the decision to make this trip a reality. We each paid $2100 US for an 8 day cruise. I think thats more moolah than I spent in 2 months in Bolivia.

Our faithful vessel. The Spondylus

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The Cast of Characters
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The beloved group shot. The Israelis are not pictured for some reason.

3 Backpackers- Ben, Dave, and I were as we anticipated the only backpackers on the boat. We thought from the get go that our antics would win over the other passengers. We were hoping to set some sort of mood that would otherwise not be present. By the end of the trip we think we accomplished our goal. Benny and I shared a cabin for the trip (The BV Show snores very loudly). Dave got the lucky draw and his own room for the 8 days.

2 Israelis- The mother and daughter on the trip are Orthodox Jews from Israeli. I do not think either of them smiled the entire time we were traveling. Actually, they did smile on the last day. To summarize, the crew was not thrilled with the special meals they needed to prepare. They even had to bring there own cooking pans. I guess this is so that their food would not be prepared in the same pans with non kosher foods. I am not sure about the dietary rules of the Orthodox. Holy, the daughter, just graduated from Med School. Mom did not say a word to us the entire time. Nonetheless, the daughter took some good pictures of us jumping off of the boat (see below). She also helped Ben with some medical advice when his ear went completely numb (which was pretty weird as it did not hurt but he could not feel his left ear at all).

We jumped off of the boat… ALOT. Furthermore, I have put alot of really bad pix of the BV show in this blog. I feel its about time he deserved a cool one. However, do not be alarmed, I will continue to post gay pix of Benny whenever I get the chance.

2 Americans from San Fransisco- John is a photographer and owns a computer fixing business in Cali. His wife teaches 2nd grade ( I think, either that or I could be making that up). I think John is going to post all of his pix from the trip on his website. At one point he took over 49 pictures of one Iguana. However, the Iguana did not move the entire time. I will be sure to post some Iguana pix as soon as he uploads them. We had a good time with John. He was a really interesting guy.

2 Americans from New York- Josh is a published poet. They are both newlyweds on there honeymoon. They were romantically connected the entire time.

Note to readers: For me personally, I would not recommend the Galapagos as a honeymoon destination. That is, unless seeing thousands of birds would act as some sort of aphrodisiac for you. If thats the case you should take your new bride/groom immediately.

2 Bird People- Phil and Jesse are in Ecuador catching and banding small birds for some scientific purpose as to which I have no comprehension. Jesse is studying to get her doctorate in Ornithology and she is doing research for her thesis. We all really hit it off with Phil and Jesse. They are good people.

Mother and Son- Jackie is Jesse’s mom, Will is Jesses brother. They are from California. They all took a family trip together. I am not sure if Jackie appreciated our antics like the rest of the boat. We were talking about our experience with Ayahuasca and I am not sure if she quite got it. Although, I am pretty sure my Mom did not quite get it either. Will hung out with us quite a bit and joined us jumping off the boat at times.

The Ecuadorian Couple- Augusto and his wife Daisy do not speak English. However, Daisy did call the BV show the devil “El Diablo” when he accidentally spotted a German girl from a different boat that had her boob accidentally pop out of her bathing suit. The German girl did not realize this for a good long time. Ben saw it first and quickly alerted Dave and I. Daisy was sitting next to us and found this amusing. This proved to be one of the trip highlights. However, the BV show has now been dubbed the El Diablo show.

Sidenote: An Errant boob is the quickest way in nature to get three guys laying on the beach to get up from there lounging positions as fast as possible. I am not 100% sure but I will venture to say that this naturally occurring phenomenon has something to do with Darwins evolutionary theories.

Dutch Chick- Inge is traveling solo and spent much time drinking and playing cards with us. We are not sure but there was a suspicion that there might have been a budding romance with our guide Fernando. This is unconfirmed. Inge, if you read this please comment on the comment page and let us know if anything happened. We love the gossip.

Fernando our guide- Fernando is 25 and Ecuadorian. He told many bad jokes but by and large was a good guide. His overall demeanor was jolly. He had a lot of knowledge of the identification of the Flora and Fauna. However, that was about it. Nonetheless, he was very likable. We had a good time with him. The BV show and I “fired” him whenever we did not see any of the promised wildlife. Then, when something good happened we would quickly rehire him.

According to our guide Fernando, this baby sea lion was bitten by a Galapagos shark

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Day 1

I will hereby dub day 1 of the Galapagos Island trip hurry up and wait day. It felt like my days in the US Airforce. Lots of hurry ups followed by lots of waits. Anyone that has ever been in the military will know what I mean.

When we finally got settled in we got to see the giant Galapagos Tortoises.

Before getting on the boat, Ben, Dave, and I felt like we were in an episode of “supermarket sweep”. We cleared out the place in fear that the boat would gauge us with beer, wine, and soda charges. A couple hundred bucks later, we had procured 12 bottles of wine, 3 bottles of vodka, 1 bottle of 12 year old Chivas Regal, 4 tubes of Pringles, 1 giant packet of Oreos, and enough tuna fish to feed all the sea lions on the islands.

Sidenote: I think at this point the rest of the boat starts to give us a second look. I do not think they knew what to make of our over the top mentality and 12 bottles of vino.

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Day 2 Floreana/Darwin/St.Maria Islands

We woke up at 7am, had a delightful breakfast, and then hit the shores of Floreana. Right off the bat we were bombarded with Galapagos Sea Lions. They lined the shores. We also got to see some flamingos, sea turtles, and local fauna that I am not all together interested in. I do not know what it is, but, I just can not get excited about plants.

On Day one we also embarked on our first two snorkeling outings. Both, were very eventful. I managed to keep up with the Aussies Navys finest in the water. Although, Ben did have to help Daisy from Ecuador who had a bit of a rough time with the first snorkel outing. I am going to exaggerate and say that the BV Show saved her life. Good work BV show, good work!

So, on the first snorkel Ben, Dave, and I had an underwater encounter with a curious female (I think because it was smaller) sea lion. It came close to putting on a full blown show for us. It basically circled us, let us chase us. It was almost like a dance. Something tells me this is a daily occurrence in the Galapagos. Im sure this was not her first encounter with snorkelers.

This is not the same Sea Lion… But, it seems like a good point to put the picture.

In the afternoon, we got a chance to take a snooze after lunch. It was needed. Benny and I are both reading Scar Tissue by Anthony Keidus (from the Red Hot Chili Peppers) and are amazed with how crazy this dudes life was.

The BV show, Dave, and I have hit a stride. We seem to spend much of our time talking about the craziness of Billy Boy (good friends with Dave and Ben from the Navy and I traveled with him for a month). He is traveling with our friend Lisa and bets were made as to whether they have become romantically engaged in there 3 weeks together.

After the snooze, we hit the shores again. We hit a Lava Cave that was pretty cool. Like Hawaii, the Galapagos are very new islands in the grand scheme of places on earth. It is very volcanic and henceforth has a shitload of Lava Caves.

The three of us in an Underwater Lava Cave

After the caves we did some more snorkeling. At one point I was surrounded by at least 8 huge sea turtles. I was by myself for most of the experience. It was very cool.

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Day 3 -

Some thoughts….

I have decided to really focus and write these next few days. The downtime is perfect for this. I am not sure how detailed I can go with just the Galapagos. How interesting is it to the rest of the world how many blue footed boobies one sees, or how many shore lines were covered with sleepy Sea Lions? My guess is not very interesting.

The infamous blue footed booby. We saw many boobies on this trip. Our favorite was definitely “Z German” tourists accidental addition to the wildlife.

I still could not be happier than to be here with Dave and Benny. Also, the more and more I think about going home, the more and more I think I am looking forward to catching up with everyone. I am also excited about advancing my ideas for the next phase of my trip in November. The amount of work should be stifling yet rewarding. However, I really am going to need to buckle down and focus while living in Baltimore.

I have been thinking about all of the people that I need to meet with. Its going to take me a month to make that happen.

This next month of Colombia and Cuba should really be amazing. We will be going out on a high note and getting pretty crazy. I want to do the “Lost City” trek on the north coast of Colombia. I think the boys are going to need some convincing. Daves knee is jacked and something tells me that Benny would rather lie on the beach and chase around some females. Nonetheless, I want to do it. I would love to get in one more solid trek before leaving the continent. Rumor has it that its better than the Inca trail.

Also, I need to start planning Cuba. It would be nice if we could do this easily from Colombia. I do not want to end up having to scratch it at the last minute. At this point Benny and Dave are thinking hard about scratching it. Fidel just might go down when I get there. I plan on trying to figure everything out when we get to Quito. If anyone from the US Government reads this I am joking about Cuba.

After a deep conversation with this sea lion, Benny decided he is going to skip Cuba.

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Day 4 - San Cristobel Island

We hired Paco, or Pati, or something like that to be our surf guide. He was a great guy but not the most reliable businessman I have ever come across. For the most part, our entire interaction with him was while he was high as a kite. This guy was not just a little bit stoned. He was really, really, really stoned.

Benny with high as a kite Paco or Pati or whatever his name was.

We had heard that the surf in the Galapagos was out of control. I was feeling pretty good after my surf lesson in Mancora and was ready to make some things happen during my second outing. Unfortunately, I did not have a board the size of a small boat like in Mancora. My most memorable accomplishment revolved around being able to sit on the board without falling off. This took some practice and many falls. The surf was not optimal by any means. Nonetheless, we had a good time and surfed with a few idol sea lions (at this point, we have seen 15,000 sea lions and its just not that exciting anymore). Also, I swear I saw a shark. There are apparently a lot of 6 foot Galapagos sharks all over the surf area we were in. Luckily, they do not mess with people. Well, at least thats what Paco said. Although, Paco was stoned so who knows.

These rocks in front of “the Weapon” were volcanic and incredibly painful to walk on.

We did have one pretty funny surprise. The BV Shows wetsuit was covered in piss from whoever had last used it. Who knew they did not wash out wet suits in the Galapagos Islands? So, the BV Show smelled like some others guys pee the entire morning. Its amazing how the little things bring a smile to your face!

Although I look extremely unbecoming in a wetsuit at least mine did not smell of stale urine.

I did not get up on the board at all during the outing. However, I did manage to catch a wave and ride it in like a boogie board. By the time I thought about standing up I was more worried about crashing into the pile of razor sharp volcanic rocks that I was quickly advancing on.

That afternoon we were ready to take naps when we realized that the porthole doors in our cabin were wide open and all of Bens bedding was soaked. Again, pretty amusing. So, his mattress needed to be taken outside and dried in the sun.

Sidenote: We were expecting the tropics on this trip. No deal! It was cloudy most of the time and borderline chilly.

In the afternoon we ran across a pod of Dolphins. This ended up being the highlight of the entire trip. There had to be at least 500. Our guide thought that the Dolphins were Bottlenosed. However, after consulting the guidebooks I found out that bottle nosed dolphins usually only travel in pods of 25. We are still not sure what kind of dolphins they were. All I know is that there were a ton of them. They were jumping out of the water and literally playing with the boat. It was breathtaking. I love Dolphins.

Sidenote: According to the BV Show dolphins are the only other animals in the world besides humans that have sex for fun. At one point we saw two Galapagos Gulls have sex. The male stood on top of the females back. There was a lot of screaming and he fell off more than once. The act looked far from fun.

We have been playing a lot of cards. Shithead once again has been the card game of choice. Throughout the duration of the trip, I had been consistently getting my ass kicked. However, the BV show had been losing more and more often which was nice. Dave mopped the floor with everyone.

That afternoon we also got to jump off the top of the three story boat into the water. I would compare it to jumping off an Olympic Size High Diving board. I screamed like a little girl the first time I did it. The boys had a bit of a laugh. We ended up spending quite a great deal of time jumping off of the boat. It was higher than you would expect and you got quite a rush. After laughing at me, the BV show also screamed like a 9 year old girl the first time he jumped off the very top. This seemed to amuse the rest of the boat immensely.

Note to self: Please try to avoid screaming like a girl in the future.

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Our only solid Sunset in the Galapagos Islands

Day 5 - 6 Month Anniversary traveling around the world.

Benny and I celebrated 6 months on the road on Day 5. It was good times. Except when my glass of wine fell over onto his iPod (unlike usual, this was not my fault as the boat was in some rough waters at the time). It was a close call but his iPod came out just fine in the end.

Day 5 by and large was pretty chill. We needed to get more food and water. So, we had a chance to check Internet when we were off of the boat for a while. I left my iPod in Lima. Not happy about this. Jess and Lisa are meeting us in Colombia though and I just found out that they are in Lima right now. I hope they got my messages and will swing by the hostel I stayed at and pick it up for me.

This was also around the time when we began to speculate about the apparent burgeoning romance between our tour Guide Fernando and Inge from Holland.

The night ended with more shithead playing and red wine drinking.

Sidenote: Dave is from Adelaide in Australia. Its where most of the Australian wine grapes are grown. Therefore, he knows quite a bit about wine. We really drank a lot of wine on this trip. Much more than we usually consume. His family also owns an olive farm back home.
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Day 6

We did more hiking, more snorkeling, and more drinking. For whatever reason, we really hit it hard on this night. The three of us played cards until about midnight with Inge and Holy, then broke into the bottle of scotch we had purchased in Guayaquil. I would not say that it got ugly. Well, on second thought, maybe I would.

We did not get to bed that night until really late. I do not really remember what exactly we talked about all night. I think much of it had to do with Dave and Bens relationship while they were in Sydney in the Navy. The night ended with Dave and I freestyling in our Cabin. At this point the BV show had long passed out. This was Daves first attempt and a strong showing. It was a big step. You would be surprised how reluctant people are to try to freestyle. It has become a priority for me to get someone to freestyle with on this trip. I need to step my game up before my return to the states. There are a few battles immediately awaiting (that means you Jeremy Young). Also, there is such a thing as Aussie Hip Hop. Both Dave and Ben have turned me on the the Hilltop Hoods. Its underground and very good. Check it out on iTunes if you get a chance.

The Hilltop Hoods

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Day 7

Day 6 and 7 are intertwined. I awoke about the same time as the BV show. With my head pounding, I asked Ben what time it was. He replied that it was 6:20 in the morning. We then heard what we thought was the bell alerting us to breakfast. As we groggily walked up the stairs the rest of the boat began to loudly applaud. Confusion set in for both of us. We looked at each other, looked at the shrimp and rice that we were getting ready to eat for breakfast, and then everything became clear.

The three of us all slept through the entire mornings activities. The rest of the boat was very amused. We were very “hung over”. The crew said that they tried to wake us up to no avail.

Note to self: When on tours of natures most prestigious places around the world, steer clear of entire bottles of the 12 year old Chivas Regal.

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Day 8

Day 8 mirrored day 1. We were herded around like sheep to get back on the Airplane upon which I am currently sitting. We did get a chance to stop at the Charles Darwin Research Center.

We ran into Lonesome George. He is the last of one of the Giant Tortoise species. They are desperate to find a mate for George. He is 75 years old. Most Giant Tortoise can live to be well over 100 years of age. In the last 100 years before the conservation efforts were put into place by the Ecuadorian government the giant tortoises here were routinely hunted and eaten. Apparently turtle stew is extremely delicious.

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Nesting Albatross

Notes:

> While we all had a great time, the trip to the Galapagos was very expensive. It put a nice dent in all of our budgets. Dave and Ben are both now thinking about bagging Cuba to make up for the costs (I know I have mentioned this 5 times throughout this post but its on my mind). I do not think I can do this. I need to get to Cuba before getting back home. Its a priority. Again, or its a joke….. Why would I go to Cuba illegally?

> I finished Scar Tissue by Anthony Keidus from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I flew through it. Its a crazy, crazy book about a crazy, crazy drug addict. Wow! Parents should have their high school kids read the book. I feel like its a great tool to keep to prevent people from ever even thinking about trying Heroin.

> We have watched “Inconvenient Truth” twice on this trip. The Aussie boys did not know much about what happened with the election in 2000. Now they do! Heres a comment question for you and a little food for thought! Where would the world be right now if Al Gore would have won the Presidency in 2000.

> Global Warming is scary. If you have not watched “Inconvenient Truth” , rent it and watch it today. Everyone should watch this movie. It is terrifying.

Polar Bears are not huge fans of Global Warming.

>Building on this theory, “El Nino” that rolled through the Pacific in 1997 killed 90% of all of the Coral in the Galapagos. What used to be huge expanses of beautiful multi-colored coral reef is now just brownish rock. 65% of the Galapagos penguins and over 50% of the sea lions on the islands were wiped out. While many insist that phenomenons such as EL Nino are naturally occurring, many others believe that things like this are just another reminder that the Earths temperature is entirely too hot.

> Due to the amount of surfing we have been doing, the amount of Jack Johnson on the stereo has grown exponentially.

> Our boat was full of Atheists. There was a clear Atheist movement coming from the New York poet. Reversism? When is the last time you have had a Atheist try and covert you? Its also kind of crazy and fitting that the place that made Darwin famous for putting together a theory that challenged many conservative religious beliefs is flooded with Atheists (at least on our boat).

> I decided to grow the beard again on the Galapagos trip just like in Antarctica. I also decided again that I look like an idiot with a beard again on the Galapagos trip. Furthermore, it appears that I am starting to put some of the weight back on that I lost in Bolivia. NO BUENO. I need to go back to my favorite country Bolivia immediately for a bought of food poisoning and lack of appetite. I miss the Bolivian diet.

> I would like to thank my good friend Raji Taji for sending me a list of spelling errors that I had in the Ayahuasca post. Whenever I rush to get a post up this seems to happen. But, I am only human. So what the hell. I cannot wait until Lisa joins back up with a crew. I desperately need to travel with a proofreader (plus you are cool Lisa and I am not just using you for your proofreading skills). Unfortunately, anything detail oriented does not fall in my list of strengths. Also, thanks to Lola for her insight on the Ayahuasca post. Whenever she writes her analysis of our retreat I will be throwing it up on the blog.

> If you have not already signed up for email updates DO It. The sign up link is right underneath the picture of the three of us on the cliffs of the Galapagos on the top right hand side of the blog page. Yes, I have my sleeve rolled up in the picture and it looks a little gay. However, thats all the more reason to sign up for email entries. Then you get an email and have to verify that you want the emails. VERY EASY. DO IT NOW! As of today 77 people have done it. My goal is 10,000.

> Oh, and I wanted to wish my little sister Debbie a very Happy birthday!!!!

> FINALLY, THE VIDEO THAT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. Its from my Antarctica trip from Februay and involves a very fat version of me in a Brazilian Bikini. Check it out on the Lonely Planet TV website. I would like to extend a special thanks to Paul Bell for putting it together.

http://www.lonelyplanet.tv/Clip.aspx?key=F75EDDAF628D20C4

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